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Student Cliché

The deadlines loom like a death sentence
All this Red Bull just makes me tense
I've only written the title so far
Cos it's 'pound a pint' down the union bar

Shopping trolleys and traffic cones
Student cliché! Student cliché!
I'll pay you back when I get my loan
Student cliché! Student cliché!
I owe fifty quid in library fines, I've got a huge collection of road signs
I'm a student, a student cliché

I'm the world's biggest fan of the world's most obscure band
We're laughing at in-jokes that you'll never understand

This flat hasn't been cleaned in weeks
The cupboards are bare and the bathroom leaks
In the bread-bin there's a year-old loaf
Covered in some unidentified growth

Self-confessed quiz show junkies
Student cliché! Student cliché!
Oh yeah, now I've got the munchies
Student cliché! Student cliché!
Let's raid the fridge for stuff we didn't buy, now its time to watch 'Withnail And I'
I'm a student, a student cliché

When I'm in the lecture hall
I feel like an intellectual
But when I'm out of the town, I act like a clown
A 70s fancy-dress party, that's so cool

"This is DJ student - if you want to be prudent, then listen to me very carefully. Here's ten rules to help you through your time at university. Number 1: smoke pot. Number 2: smoke a lot. Number 3: tell your friends how monged you got. Number 4: don't endure academic information, all you really need is a Playstation education. Number 5: always strive to apply the laws of deconstructionism to Star Wars. Number 6: Give a detailed comprehensive list of everything you drunk when you last got pissed. Number 7: always claim that you drunk the most. Number 8: Only eat pasta and beans on toast. Number 9: find the worst show on the TV station and turn it into an icon of your generation. Number 10: remember, sarcasm is the lifeblood of the student. So don't mean what you say, or say what you mean, or say what you did or what you didn't mean, or say what you meant when you meant what you didn't mean when you said what you did. That sort of thing."

There's one cliché I've missed, and I hear it everyday
It's when people take the piss out of student student clichés

But maybe I'm just being ironic?




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