We’ve replaced the index-card system with touch-screen terminals
It’s called modernisation, it means we don’t even have to speak
Please feel free to do a job search, but just don’t bother us
Even when the national network crashes - which happens every week

We know what you’re here for and we resent it utterly
Your payment may well be delayed if you’re a minute late
But if we cancel an appointment or postphone it for 6 hours
Then there’s nothing we can do about it, sorry, you’ll just have to wait

In South Tottenham Job Centre
It’s the dullest place on earth
South Tottenham Job Centre
Eroding your sense of self-worth

The security guard is happy because he gets to wear a suit
But he doesn’t have that much to do so he just wanders round
He’ll ask you quite politely if you’d care to take a seat
And if you decline his offer he’ll physically force you to sit down

Your personal adviser is stifling her yawns
As she tries to pretend that she is reading your CV
There’s a look of sheer contempt in her eyes, as if to say:
"If only you were prepared to work hard, then you could have a job like me"

In South Tottenham Job Centre
It’s the dullest place on earth
South Tottenham Job Centre
Eroding your sense of self-worth

The whole building’s been designed
To instill boredom in your mind
So even the crappest job will seem appealing
Psychological manipulation
Through interior decoration
Right down to the colour of the carpets and the ceiling

And only the most dejected
Are specially selected
To undertake this monotonous government mission
They’ve all been fully trained
To ensure their clients are drained
Of every last remnant of ambition

So finally, we agree
When they try and send us to the cleaning agency