Kebab
OCD
What's On TV Tonight?
Welcome To Shoreham
The Elixir Of Youth
South Tottenham Job Centre
On The Ideal Of Manhood
Rodent
Celebrity Hitlist


Listen to the song!
Watch the video!

All the furniture and footwear is covered in plastic
It’s the only way to stop the spread of diseases
Before I leave for work I’ve got to clean all the carpets
But I don’t trust the Hoover, I use tweezers

Before I can sit down to watch Midsomer Murders
The TV must be adjusted to the perfect angle
And when I want to leave the room I can’t open the door
Until I’ve made sure I’ve disinfected the handle

I must take a shower at least every hour
Perspiration makes me feel evil and bad
I don’t consider my genitals to be clean
Unless they’ve been buffed by a Brillo pad

Something very bad will happen
If I don’t sterilise my kettle
Something very bad will happen
If I don’t touch that piece of metal

I’ve got OCD, It’s consuming me
I’ve washed my hands more times than Lady Macbeth
I’ve got OCD, It’s controlling me
An unaligned placemat is a portent of death


Must... polish... skirting... board
Must... open... and... shut... fridge
Must... run... finger... along... the... underside... of... ridge

Hygiene is hybrid of science and superstition
A way of life for those of a certain disposition
A religion, like all others, based on ritual and submission
And deep fear of every form of bodily emission

God spoke to me once and gave me a mission
"Clean the kitchen! Do the dishes!" so said the apparition
Thanks a lot, God, next time I won’t even listen
Cos you’ve given me a debilitating medical condition

Order! Chaos!
Order! Chaos!
Order! Chaos!
Order! Chaos! Order! Chaos! Order! Chaos!
Order! Chaos! Order! Chaos! Order! Chaos! Order Chaos!
Chaos! Order.