3
	Meanwhile, in Ko-Ro-Ba, Lara has organised a gladiatorial contest in which Talena has to fight a series of novelty warriors. Although each has their own distinctive fighting style and unique choice of weaponry, none of them, it turns out, are very good at fighting. Talena, unarmed, is able to defeat them all. Her toughest opponent, The Leather Women, uses her whips to good effect, yet fails to raise the conflict above the level of a lesbo-voyeuristic bitch-fight. Which is, of course, the sole reason it happens. Tarl and Watney talking shit Back in the desert, Tarl has come over all righteous and has resolved to put an end to slavery. So, after following the horsemen back to their camp, he starts a fight – seemingly under the belief that by rescuing a particularly fetching slave-girl he has thereby abolished the entire slave-trade. The slave-girl, however, is grateful enough: “master, allow me to give you pleasure”. Tarl declines the offer - because of Talena - but spends the night in her arms anyway. Tarl, slave-girl, and white-haired midget then get captured by a bounty-hunter who returns		them to Lara’s dungeon. The slave girl is instantly forgotten, the prisoners are fed mushy peas, and Tarl gets the perfunctory ‘join me’ speech from Lara. Tarl Cabot: in this world he is revered as a hero Lara organises another gladiatorial contest, but this time it is Tarl that has to effortlessly kill off a succession of assorted assailants. Eventually he gets bored and instead effortlessly bends his sword over his knee into a U-shape as a symbolic gesture of defiance. Watney suddenly decides to tell everyone that it was Lara that killed the king - now is as good a time as any - and ‘the people’ instantly believe him. The bounty-hunter suddenly decides to swap sides and throws a spear through Lara, and Tarl is once again, in this world, revered as a hero – despite having done nothing of worth throughout the entire film. Then Tarl and Watney are transported back to 80s America. Upon returning they find that wearing sack-cloth tunics is now seen as a crime, and the police immediately arrest them. The film finishes with a final flourish of annoying things being said, courtesy of Watney.
	“Would you check out the legs on that blonde at the end of the bar! Huh, man, she is awesome! Huh, I’m, I’m, I’m a legs man you know? Yeah, yeah. I love ‘em! Ooooh, I love ‘em! Cooooool!” - Watney (as he is stood a mere metre away from the woman in question) “As long as I always have blood in my veins I will always fight slavery and oppression!” - Tarl Cabot (prior to rescuing a particularly fetching slave-girl)
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