![]() |
2 | |||
It turns out that Talena’s father summoned Tarl to deal with the evil Priest Xenos who is busy plotting with the evil Queen Lara. First, though, they have a big feast. Tarl meets his old mate, the white-haired midget, and Watney gets to flirt with some skimpily- dressed dancing girls. Although the film never explicitly accounts for the striking similarity between the prevailing fashions in Ko-Ro-Ba and those of 1980s America, we must assume that a new-romantic fashion designer had previously visited Gor in order to experiment with neo-Roman lamé-themed decadence. All the guards wear similar garments, and, incidentally, are black.
![]() Lara with her Afro-American thugs Anyway, with the use of his elementary chemistry set, Xenos produces a frothy test-tube, and Lara poisons Talena’s dad. She then frames Tarl in a wholly unconvincing manner, and - despite the fact that he is, in this world, revered as a hero - ‘the people’ turn against him. Tarl is consequently forced to flee into the desert with the white-haired midget, who, for some reason, has taken to wearing a nappy. Queen Lara also tricks Watney into thinking she is trying to seduce him. He falls for it, of course, whilst saying some annoying things. It’s never explained why Lara bothers doing this, as it neither aids her scheme nor has any impact on subsequent events. |
This is the first of many pointless things that Lara does throughout the film (she later kills Xenos for no reason, and orders her slaves to carry on working during a cave-in – and then gets angry when they all die).
![]() "Shit, the king's dead!" The second half of the film sees Tarl and the Midget wandering about the desert, with little indication of where they’re going, or why. There’s a distinct lack of wild adventures, and they fail to battle any strange or magical creatures. They do, however, come across another group of horsemen, whom they watch unobserved from behind some sand. These horsemen are riding about in a quarry trying to round up slaves, but prove to be as woefully incompetent at this as the first lot were at combat. After grabbing a slave and throwing them into a small central pile, the riders then pursue another slave, leaving the ‘captured’ slave unattended and free to run away. Needless to say, this goes on for some time. ![]() "Why are we all so sweaty?" |
|||
| Turn Back | Turn Page | |||
| |
||||